The negative thoughts came out of nowhere. No warning or sign. It’s like I was walking down the aisle at the grocery store, distracted and looking the other way and then BAM I turned around to collide with an ex boyfriend I shared a bad break up with and a regrettable part of my past. … Continue reading Clean Up in Aisle 6: When Depression Knocks You Down
The boldness of others has caused some of my greatest personal growth. I was blessed to live in a community last year where the opportunity for feedback was frequent. I had many friends who would confront me in love. One growth moment in particular came on a day when I was stuck in a negative … Continue reading Shut Up Before You Kill Someone: Choosing to Speak Life not Death
For a big portion of my life, I was dishonest to both myself and to others. I was so focused on shoving any negative emotions down that I never allowed myself to truly feel pain. The pain of death, the pain of divorced parents, the pain of practically any life experience that hurt – I … Continue reading Freedom through Pain
A few years ago, my friend Brendan told me that he could always tell what was going on in my life at any time based on the state of my hair. I sat on the edge of his bed while he sat on the edge of his desk chair, some friend from film class filling the … Continue reading A Love Letter to the Control Freaks: It’s Okay to Let Go
Proverbs 25:28 “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” Ever since I was a small child, I’ve struggled with the sins of lust and masturbation. But until recently, I didn’t realize how deep those sins were rooted. Five months ago, I was exactly what Proverbs 25:28 talks about … Continue reading God Confronted My Struggle With Lust and Masturbation
Lorde’s hit song, Tennis Court, contains a lyric that captivates me. “It’s a new art form, showing people how little we care.” Part of me wonders if she wrote that after scrolling through her Facebook newsfeed on a midweek afternoon. She probably didn’t. But that lyric perfectly illustrates one ugly, uncomfortable truth: you and I … Continue reading Hey Christians, I’ve Got a Bone to Pick with Your Facebook Rants
Cheers to vulnerability: I don’t swear, often, but if I did, it would be one of those days. I’d swear because I’m hurting and because I’m mad. I’d swear because it seems for some reason people take you more seriously when you throw in a bad word. I’d swear because I am just so sick … Continue reading Getting Through Pain, Broken Relationships, and Letting Go.
The other day, I learned that my friend was murdered. I don’t mean to say it so matter of factly. It is just that the most horrible thing that could have happened to her did, and I don’t really know what to do about it. The day was a confusion of shock and normalcy. After I … Continue reading My Friend Was Murdered
Do you ever feel like you are too much? Too competitive? Too sensitive? Too Loud? Too quiet? Sometimes I struggle feeling like I am too much of something, in my case, it is usually too competitive. The other day it was a beautiful sunny day outside, one of the first signs of spring and I … Continue reading Why Less Isn’t More.
From the age of twelve until eighteen I used to hurt myself, mainly cutting and burning my arms. I started because I wanted to be noticed. I was hurting inwardly and wanted others to know. This worked, I became accustomed to negative attention and soon taught myself that the only way to get people to love … Continue reading The Secret Behind My Scars: Self-Harm