The other day I had a brief conversation with a friend whom I regard with high esteem. Her situation is not so foreign to many in their twenties and thirties, Christians in particular. In trying to figure out her purpose, she’s stalled. She told me, though, in an especially poetic way so even mid-conversation I couldn’t ignore her free-verse. It could be a song mistaken for the theme of a potentially tragic generation. Though not word for word, it went something like this (with her permission):
I want to see greatness
to go in that direction
to compel me to get away from where I am
but right now everything just looks
Gray
Mediocre
Blah
Like nothing I do matters
Isn’t that odd?
Like life will not satisfy
as much as I want it to satisfy
Like no matter where I go
it won’t matter
No matter what I do
it won’t matter
No matter who I marry
No matter anything
I feel it should produce the opposite
I don’t know how to move from here to living vibrantly
I know it could be anything
I know I could just choose
It’s not that easy
Not for me
not right now
I want it to be
I hope one day it would be
Not right now
not for me
Stuck In Expectation
Last week, I had a blast working with a few men that just returned home from the World Race. I was a coach for a program called Project Search Light, which does a variety of services for Racers finishing their journey, but my job was to help them process the last year and figure out their next step in life.
Though I had an amazing time, it confirmed something I’ve witnessed the last couple years when someone realizes who they are. First, they realize they’re made for great things, loved beyond comprehension by a proud father and they realize their identity. Then they freeze.
Right there next to pornography addiction, entitlement, and the other debilitating challenges of my generation stands the question of finding purpose. The problem I’ve seen is the more you know you’re a child of God, the greater the pressure becomes to live up to that identity. Identity in Christ equals more fear. Ironic, no?
Before, sure, there was pressure to decide what to do in life. But now, huge things are expected. World changing things are expected. “Greater things than these” are expected. And we collectively say, “I better not screw this up, God’s expecting a lot out of me. I better wait for him to tell me exactly which way to go.” And we wait. And wait. And think we’re being super Christian because we’re ‘jus waitin on the Lord’. And really fear has frozen us in place.
Don’t Forget to Take Your Authority
When we decide to receive and step into the love God desires to bestow upon us, I think we forget what else we’re stepping into. As sons and daughters, Jesus gives us authority. Part of that is the authority to make decisions. We miss this part, or don’t have the confidence to accept it, so we ask God to keep holding our hand for fear of failure.
Jus waitin on the Lord is fear disguised as faith. There’s a very important question we each have to ask ourselves. Do I have the faith to go in any direction and know my father will be there to greet me? That’s true faith.
“Yea but I need to know…”
“Go.”
“Yea but which…”
“Go.”
“Okay but where…”
“Go. Heal the sick, raise the dead, make disciples, serve others, cast out fear, bring freedom, love me, love your neighbor no matter what. Go.”
There’s our purpose. No more stalling. Find a passion, find some people, go and change the world.
Have you ever been stalled by knowing you were made to do great things life?