“Everything in this town is expensive except for the girls.”
Kanda* didn’t even blink as she said this. She just looked at me and smiled, but I saw past her smile as she glanced over at her friend who was leaving with an elderly white man. Most women here would never dare to say anything negative about their “work.” But I had come to know Kanda quite well and she was beginning to trust me. The next words that left her mouth broke my heart as much as the last. “I’m so glad it’s not me.” So far that night, she had avoided being bought by a man. The manager was satisfied, because I had bought Kanda a drink, so for then, she was safe.
All I could say before she changed the subject was, “I’m glad it’s not you too.” I desperately wanted to say more, but I knew it wasn’t the right time. I tried to stay engaged as the righteous anger flooded my veins, watching the man drive away with a girl less than half his age.
It’s moments like these that often require me to compartmentalize my life. In order to cope, I only allow myself to feel angry or broken at certain times. Otherwise, the weight and reality of this world would most likely crush me. At times, these emotions are what fuel my passion. But it would simply be exhausting to live without these boundaries for myself. Also, I find it is most effective to operate out of love rather than anger, no matter how righteous that anger may be. Passion that is fueled by love is far more powerful. Because love never fails and therefore, keeps the fire ever burning.
Something I have learned in life is that although one’s feelings may be valid, they are not always based on truth. In reality, my emotions can often blind me to the truth. In this case, the truth is these men need the hope and love of Christ just as desperately as the women. The truth is, I am called to love them too.
I realize this goes against everything that we feel, but the truth of the gospel is that Jesus came to set the captives free, no matter what has led them to their bondage. He died for ALL. He loves ALL. Even the man buying a woman for sex.
You see, everything begins to change when we realize the true issue behind sex-trafficking is that of worth. These men have become desensitized to the worth of the human soul. They lack the knowledge of their own worth, just as they fail to see the matchless value of these precious women. I have seen the look in those men’s eyes. Some are better at hiding it than others, but they are all begging for something so much more, even if it is masked behind lust and perversion. They are attempting to fill the deep longings of the heart with meaningless sexual pleasure.
We are earthen vessels, designed for heavenly content. Desperate for the satisfaction of wholeness, of knowing that we are valued, loved, and worthy, we seek to fill the void. We fail to see that Christ is the only ONE who can fulfill us.
These men are not the only ones. Men and women who are consuming pornography have the same problem. [Please note that while I use sexual sin as an example, there are many other means by which we attempt to find satisfaction.] These men and women’s need for sexual satisfaction has led them to a life of passivity–actively choosing not to see the value of others. It is pure selfishness. This is not just because they are trying to achieve orgasm or even because they are using someone else for their own gain, but also because they are making themselves more important than God. They are exalting themselves above Him. Sex, within the sacred covenant of marriage, is worship. Therefore, sex, masturbation, and or other types of sexual sin (whether using pornography as a stimulus or not) are acts of self-worship. This is not simply because sex should be between two consensual partners within marriage. It is also because these people are walking away from their true identity as ones who were made in the image of God, ones who were made to be in relationship with Him and bring glory to His name. [Once again, this applies to all attempts at fulfillment outside of Christ.]
You see, we are worth more than having mindless sex with strangers. We are worth more than trying to meet our needs through pornography, sexual sin, or other types of false-satisfaction—just as these girls are worth more than being used and abused.
If you are someone who struggles with sexual sin or any other type of false-satisfaction, know that you are worth so much more. We have all been created with a divine purpose. You are a priceless treasure, worth more to God than all the riches in the world. His love for you stretches further than the expanses of the universe. And He is calling you into your identity. He is calling you to open your heart to receive the wholeness that comes from being His child. He is calling you to choose to see your worth and the worth of those around you. He’s waiting for you; He wants to satisfy you in ways you could never imagine. You just have to take His hand.
*Names are changed for the protection of the individual.