By Vanita Joines
I’m sitting in front of the TV watching the ever-entertaining Smallville. Okay, okay, I know, get a life, right? I guess it just intrigues me. Superman. Lex Luthor. The storyline and all that stuff.
I remember as a child running around playing super man. Now, I am hoping I wasn’t pretending to be him, because that would be weird for a little girl’s role model to be a man of steel.
Or, maybe it’s weird for any body’s role model to be a man of steel. Why do human beings long to be so strong. So invincible? So hard? If any of you have seen the TV show Smallville you know what I’m talking about. Our young superhero Clark Kent is untouchable. There is no vulnerability. Some people say that’s why superman is so great. Because, nobody can touch him. He will always win, well, unless a wigged Luther happens to chain kryptonite around his neck, but beyond that? Nothing.
Can you imagine being that armored?
I actually think I can. In fact, I think we all do.
While Clark Kent can fool everybody into believing he’s an awkward poorly presented, normal reporter, we have everybody fooled into thinking we’re ok. Sometimes I feel such a heavy burden to hold my facade up high. Oh, don’t worry, I am strong. I am invincible and untouchable. I never struggle with wanting others to fail so it looks like I’m succeeding. I never struggle with sexual temptation. I’m immune to greed and the pursuit of material possessions. I don’t need you. That being said I don’t really think I need God either. I mean, I needed him to save my soul from eternal judgment, but I don’t need him to save my soul from every minute that tries to steal it away from him.
I’ve been talking with a good friend about this lately. How I long to rip the armor off, I really do. But I’m scared, because I’m afraid I’ll be the only one leaving the shield behind. I know we all have our kryptonite, and I’m not necessarily saying we should run around the streets yelling our deepest darkest secrets, but, what if we did? That would be terrifying because then everybody would know our weakness. Everybody would know how to hurt us the most and which words would cut the deepest. Maybe that’s why we have our shining shields to protect us. Maybe that’s why we all have an alter ego. There’s us. And then there’s the people we wish we were.
I was thinking about all this as I was watching Clark Kent save the day again, and I realized something. I don’t need to be saved by a superhero. Yes, I might die and tragic things might happen, but I don’t need to be protected from that. What I need is a real heart next to mine, bleeding the same way I do. There’s the same amount of salt in all of our tears. Why are we ashamed to let others see the water damage we have? I guess that makes me think that we need to start ripping off our armor.
I mean, God can show us his real broken heart, when he sacrificed his son for us. If Jesus can walk our earth, the one he created, for 33 years, showing everybody who came into contact with him his heart, his broken loving, perfect heart, I think we can too.
Let’s be real.
Steel? An overrated commodity.
Vanita has recently become a resident of Nashville, Tn. She loves being outside, hanging with friends and family, enjoying great food, and a good dose of sarcasm. She is constantly pursuing the close relationship between music and spirituality. You can listen to her music at www.myspace.com/vanitajoines.