I’m a skeptic of this whole “Christian” thing.
I’m not doubting my faith… but…
I look around and feel as though people are acting the part.
Yesterday morning I sat in church with 2,000 or so people around me…
I can easily label it a typical church service.
The music was performed in a beautiful manner.
Hands were thrown up in seemingly authentic surrender at the most dramatic part of the chorus…
Hands clapped together when the preacher said that Facebook-status-worthy phrase…
Handshakes were exchanged when the guy playing the guitar said greet your neighbor…
“Amen!” and “Hallelujah!” echoed through the building as 100 people raised their hands saying they “said the prayer”…
But what the hell is really going on?
I look around and can literally see the pain in people’s eyes.
The guilt of sexual sin…
The exhaustion of covering all the lies…
The feelings of hopelessness…
The heaviness of depression…
The helplessness of broken families…
The pain in prematurely losing loved ones…
The desperation of financial insecurities…
The inadequacy lingered around me as people performed…
trying to act the part of having it all together.
No one has it together… why are we trying to put on such a show?
I’m not at all bashing the mega-church…
The same problems exist is smaller churches as well.
I am simply stating that the idea of church has been distorted over the years.
The church has shifted from a safe place people walk into with their baggage in tote…
being anxiously greeted by family to help carry the burdens…
To a place where people stuff their burdens in their back pockets…
hoping it doesn’t slip out in the next hour and a half.
I too stuffed my junk in my back pocket for far too many years.
I found myself answering “Everything is marvelous!” when asked the shallow “How are you?”
When on the inside my spirit was screaming out in agony…
Suffocating in my sin.
I wanted to shout it out and shake it off but…
I was convinced I would be told that my sin was too big.
What I truly needed was someone to say, “I’ve been there too” or “you’re sin isn’t too big or too disgusting.”
For someone to look me in the eye and say, “let’s do this together.”
But because I didn’t see the grace of it being okay to be a hot mess,
I let my fear paralyze my tongue and I sat in my mess.
I still find that paralyzed feeling on my tongue…
Wondering if I’ll be judged if I voice that I struggle with this or that.
What if the church body was welcoming to the brutally beaten in spirit?
What if we actually talked about the “big” sins?
What if we ran in the doors…
exposing our shit…
Letting people in to the deepest parts of our hearts?
What if instead of saying “I’ll pray for you…”
we stop dead in our tracks and pray right then and there?
What if we legit embraced the widows and loved on the physical, spiritual and emotional orphans?
Change would happen.
Authenticity would explode from the walls of every corner…
People would be drawn in.
We wouldn’t even have to attempt to bust out into the community to share “the good news”…
People would be flocking in the doors with absolute desperation for such a love.
I believe that if sin is legit talked about…
and we are okay with confessing that we are not perfect…
The entire world will see his grace and love pouring out on the streets
and people will fall on their faces and want Him.
That’s when Kingdom will come.
What are we waiting for?