By Ben Girdler
Christmas morning, I was in a car crash that sent my fiance to the hospital for several hours and totaled my truck. A week and a half later, my fiance found out that she will lose her health benefits at the end of January. A week after that, I lost my job – three days after buying a new car to replace the totaled one.
My wedding is in less than two months,
I am taking a fairly reading-intensive class on Islam, working on growing content for this magazine, and trying to find a new job that will pay the bills, which are growing from the wedding and will grow when I move in with my fiance after the wedding.
Needless to say, life is stressed, and more than once, Ive asked God “Why now and why us?” I have spent considerable time in prayer asking why, begging for no more and yet more came. But along with every extra stress and crappy thing came something more. Along with the extra bad came extra good.
Because of the car accident, my parents leave come up to Phoenix were my fiance’s parents live and where we were spending Christmas day. This is probably the last Christmas where all of my fiance’s family and mine would be in the same state or time zone and we got to spend it all together because of a car accident. God gave us an all family Christmas through the crash.
My fiance lost her health insurance because of a paper work timing issue with corporate. She has to go on COBRA to keep insurance, which means the costs jump from about $40 a month to $220. And again God provides. Her parents have graciously offered to pay for her COBRA coverage until May when she can get her normal benefits back again.
I may have lost my job 3 days after buying a new car but that means I had the job to qualify for the loan to get the car. God knew I needed the job to get a new car to get to what ever job I am able to get in the hopefully near future.
Through all of this, God has sent people into my life to support me and encourage me. The day after I lost my job I had a full days work landscaping my church with a friends dad. The next week a good friend gave my fiance and I $5 so we could go on a date to see a movie we wanted to see that was at the cheap theater. Another couple from our class gave us an open invitation for dinner at their place because they know money is tight right now for us. People I have only met online working for this magazine have spoken great words of encouragement and been great sources of prayer for me. My parents have dropped all rent payments from me while I live with them before the wedding and have cancelled a previous debt I owed them.
I still ask God why all of this now sometimes. But more often then why, I find myself thanking Him for all the ways he has provided for my fiance and I through the previous month. I know he will continue to provide for us through our marriage. We just have to recognize His hand of provision in our lives.
Ben lives in Tucson, AZ studying sociology and writing. He even works full time when it doesnt interfere with writing the stories God puts on his heart to share with the world.