By Jeff Goins, Editor
Continued from Searching for a Spiritual Father
There were a few touch-and-go discipling relationships, one of which was J. (not Jay, just J.), the pastor who baptized me my senior year in college. I called him once and asked if there was anyone in the church leadership who could disciple me. The next Sunday, he came up to me and told me that he could do it.
We tried to meet every week for lunch the summer after I graduated college, and we were halfway successful in that commitment. He answered some questions like how a lot of life is not having all the right answers but just trusting God, including finding a wife – something I intended to eventually do. I loved his honesty, humility, and sense of humor. Unfortunately, you can only forge so deep a trust in a few months, especially when you miss a couple meetings due to busyness on both sides.
That next year, I had a different dad every night. I traveled the country with a band, staying with different families on the road. I sometimes asked the men of our host homes (those that were around, any way) questions about what it means to be a Christian man and a father. I got so many answers and saw all kinds of households that I wondered if starting a family was something that I really wanted to do.
Until I met Burl.
Burl had done with his family what I thought was impossible in America – raising a family of disciples to know and trust God, all in a simple, non-materialistic household. What most surprised me about his daughters (spread out from grade school to college) is that they actually wanted to be around each other. Out in the backwoods of northern Minnesota, they treated their family as if it were a church… and why wasn’t it?
They weren’t monks; they weren’t Quakers; and they sure weren’t suburban evangelicals. All I know is that they welcomed us into their homes and loved us with all of their hearts. They didn’t have our favorite dessert like some host homes did, and they didn’t buy us a bunch of souvenirs. They just welcomed us into their family. We talked for hours into the night, never thinking of turning on the TV (and unsure of what channels they got out there, anyway).
It was such a privilege to be thrust into that community of love and affirmation without ever feeling awkward or intrusive. I got to sit and visit with Burl one night as we watched the sun set. He was a gentle, soft-spoken man, but there was so much wisdom and strength in him. His words seemed delicaltely chosen, and I respected each one that came out of his mouth.
As I watched and learned from this man, I felt like I was sitting at Jesus’ feet, absorbing his teaching… and I was. Christ was shining forth in this man, using his vessel to share wisdom and grace with me. I got to learn that true discipleship is an intentional process of self-demotion: making less of yourself so that God may get the glory. I saw that the Gospel could be lived out in community without making it trivial or hokey – that big church and big-time preachers didn’t have to be my example to follow. Instead, Burl was John the Baptizer, saying to me, “I must become less, so that he can become more.”
Out of all the preachers, missionaries, bankers, lawyers, youth leaders, doctors, scientists, elders, businessmen, worship leaders, writers, deacons, athletes, engineers, architects, and students that I stayed with last year, the wisest man I met was someone you’ll probably never hear speak at a conference or see on TV, but, in my opinion, he blows most of those guys I’ve seen out of the water.
So many people are talking, and it’s so hard to see who’s actually living it. Men like Burl are not only rare, they’re a breath of fresh air for someone who aspires to be a true disciple and to lead a family of disciples. I feel sorry that you may never get to meet him. We have been keeping in touch for the past year, because I honestly don’t know how many guys like him there are out there.
My time with him only amounts to a few days, and soon, I had to move on, once again an orphan.
Continued in Searching for a Spiritual Father, Pt. 3
If you liked this article, check out: How You Start a Movement
Jeff graduated from Illinois College, a small liberal arts school, with a degree in Spanish and Religion. He lives in Nashville, TN. He works for Adventures in Missions, edits this silly little magazine, and loves to do new things. He just got married in January.