By Avice
Editor’s note: Last summer the author’s husband, a police officer, jumped off of the top of the police building in Hong Kong and died instantly. Avice was caught completely unaware, there had been no signs that he was even considering such dire action. At the request of a friend, the author consented to sharing this poem with others who may be dealing with the effects of suicide in their lives.
The sea roared, the mountains trembled,
The sky fell, and the earth crust was torn open.
Everything sank deep down and down in it and so did my heart.
Did you know the moment you jumped
you puzzled me?
You were outgoing and worried about nothing.
You were optimistic and fell into sleep the moment you were in bed.
What had troubled you? Why didn’t I notice a thing?
Did you know the moment you jumped 
I was convinced you had stood firmly on your principle?
You said you would only share with me good news.
I protested and protested and protested but in vain.
You won, finally, at the expenses of your life.
Did you know the moment you jumped
my journey in the wilderness started?
Food has become tasteless. Colors in the world has faded away.
There is no more sound of laughter. Everything is no longer the same.
Did you know the moment you jumped
I became homeless?
Without you, I don’t belong to anywhere,
Not your family nor mine.
Your absence reveals how I had been absorbed in our marriage.
Did you know the moment you jumped
I became helpless?
When a tiny bug scared me, I had to face it myself.
When something broke, I had to try my best to remember
what you taught me and repair it.
When troubles came, I had to solve it without any help.
Did you know the moment you jumped
I became lonely?
No one would laugh with me.
No one would argue with me.
No one would hear my grumblings.
Did you know the moment you jumped
I was forced to start a new life,
A new life without you?
I am going to carry out the plans we discussed.
Everywhere I go, whatever I do,
You will always be in my heart.
If you liked this poem, check out: The Psalmist